Top #50 Funny Thanksgiving Jokes, Quotes 2019 – The great enthusiastic festival centres around showing gratitude to the gifts of life and cherish its blessings. Americans celebrate this exceptional event with lots of passion and excitement on the fourth Thursday of November month every year. Sending Funny Thanksgiving Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Jokes, Poems and Prayers with a beautiful greeting card will make your friends or loved one smile and will work like “ice on the cake.” The story had started in 1614 when a band of English explorers was returning home with a few Pawtuxet Indians regarding slavery. Suddenly middle of the journey the whole tribe of Patuxet Indians was diminished due to epidemic smallpox.
Funny Thanksgiving Jokes, Quotes, Messages Riddles 2019
Thanksgiving history centres around the pilgrimage era and the festival of harvest. Squanto then learned the native English language and taught the pilgrims about farming of crops such as corns and also taught them the art of fishing. Best Thanksgiving jokes, Funny Thanksgiving Images 2019 ever said by Kevin James and many other famous and legendary from the US joined him. At the end of the year, the pilgrims were extremely happy with the growth of crops and fishing, and they decided to honour Squanto and his tribe by throwing a grand feast.
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” — Kevin James
“Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” — Johnny Carson
Also Enjoy – Thanksgiving Messages 2019
“Here I am 5 o’clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird’s butt…” — Roseanne Barr
“Even though we’re a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” — Richard Roeper
Thanksgiving Funny Jokes
- Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.” — Stephen Colbert
- If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.” — Mitch Hedberg
- Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.” — Rita Rudner
Funny Thanksgiving Wishes
- “You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” — Jay Leno
- “Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not the coincidence.” — Erma Bombeck
- “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” — Erma Bombeck
“What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?” ― Erma Bombeck
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.” – Stephen Colbert
“I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.” —Howie Mandel (Check out my piece on why Canadian Thanksgiving is at a much better time than American Thanksgiving here.)
Funny Thanksgiving Greetings
- “I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.” ― Craig Ferguson
- “I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.” — Howie Mandel
- “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” ― Erma Bombeck
- Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” ― Michael Dresser
- This one may be a bit gross, but it did make me chuckle
Funny Thanksgiving Poems
- “If you’re at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don’t like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you’re eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you’re out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, ‘Boy, these are good cigars!’” – Jack Handey
- If I was a turkey, I’d be doing everything I could to taste terrible right now.
- My aunt is bringing her homemade cranberry sauce to our Thanksgiving dinner, and my uncle is bringing his blatant racism!
- They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-cide.
- Want to really freak someone out? Add 2 extra turkey legs to the turkey when it’s in the oven.
- You have to smoke a couple of bowls before Thanksgiving dinner. I can’t think of a better time to have the munchies.
- There is a special place in hell for people that play Christmas music before Thanksgiving.
- If you didn’t want to sit at the kids’ table then you shouldn’t have seen the new Twilight movie.
- I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving.
Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium.
Also, See – Happy Thanksgiving Memes
Kids, preschoolers and toddlers love funny Thanksgiving cartoons, turkey and questions to ask their parents. People wear funny costumes and send funny greeting cards to their loved ones. Even the persons who were lucky enough to escape also were affected by the curse and such tribe faced the threatening of extension. But when the pilgrimage sailed at Massachusetts home they found out only one man named Squanto survived. People use Funny Thanksgiving invitation to invite their friends and family on feasting.